The Channel, Waiting on a Dream

(The Channel - top, Waiting on a Dream - bottom)

I am going to post two at a time today - so as I was saying last time, I had a bit of a pause on the painting and was backed up.  Once it got released there was an explosion of many paintings and I got obsessed there for a while.  I couldn't stop painting!  I appreciated that happening because during the dry period it felt like it will never happen and then when it did I felt compelled to ride that wave.  I am reading a book right now (don't have the title on hand) about how in order to really allow creativity to flourish, people have to be ok with failure and keep going.  I think that might be the biggest challenge that I am hearing from artists and people who have a dream of expressing themselves creatively but are afraid to try. 

So I just plunged right in, disliked a few paintings, heard the critic in my mind and told it to f**k off!  And then I got into what I felt was this amazing ride where I started to forget myself and didn't realize that I was about to pee in my pants because I forgot that I had a bladder that needed emptying every so often.  And that's how I rekindled my passion with the canvas and realized that I cannot live without this ritual of expressing myself visually. 

I feel called to teach workshops and show people techniques to bring out their hidden creativity.  One day...

Somewhere

Since my last blog - over a year ago (!!) - I have painted many paintings but this one was the first that I really enjoyed and has opened my creative juices to others which I will post soon. The name of this painting is 'Somewhere'. I have taken a brake from painting since we bought our new house and have settled in and created a new work space. I needed to feel settled and safe before creating anything new. This painting I call 'somewhere' because as you see it feels like a place but not in our world. Since then I went back to my females because that is really the type of painting I most enjoy doing. My relationship with my art has grown and had it's ups and downs mainly since I began selling my work. To be able to throw on different 'hats' and create from a place of purity without thinking of business was something that challenged me for many years after choosing to do it as a profession. I got to the point where I realized that I wanted to get rid of older paintings so I can create new ones and then the passion for doing whatever needed to get done just to create more re-awakened. I love what I do so much and I have worked through any blocks I felt internally. Yes - even though I have painted since I was a child it still didn't stop me from facing blocks and self doubt or fear of truly expressing myself. But that's the joy of life, you never stop learning and growing and I realized that I learned to appreciate the rewards that come with it. So I brought myself back to that 'place' - somewhere :)

My Grandmother's Passing

A week ago, my grandmother 'Nani' passed away. She was closer than a grandmother to me and is the one who I can thank for my art gene and fascination with natural medicine - basically, the person I have become today. I connected to her in a way that for me was primal and extremely attached. Though a part of me is relieved that she is no longer suffering physically, I felt such heartbreak to know that she is no longer in the body that I knew. Knowing that she was going to pass before it happened, I thought I might be somewhat prepared - but I found myself moved by intense grief that I have never felt before.

I have had prophetic dreams in the past so I was eager to get a visit, but I haven't had one yet. My husband says she'll come when I least expect it. What I did feel at first was this incredible void inside me missing someone who showed me such unconditional love in my life. What I realized and became aware of, was that even though her form is no longer here - I actually feel that unconditional love from her stronger than I did when she was in her form but physically far away from me.

All of her words of wisdom came into my mind and suddenly I remembered things that I thought were lost somewhere in my subconscious mind since childhood. I am so lucky to have had such an amazing woman like her as my grandmother. Her legacy was her family - all the way down to her great grandchildren. I am proud to be a part of her family and feel more lucky than ever before.

I am attaching a painting that I call 'Dialog'. I started it out as an abstract painting without form. But then I saw how part of face can fit into the shapes of the painting. Then I stepped back and what I saw was a person - and the image of their form as well as an image of their essence. I called it Dialog because it's the form connecting with the essence. I want to continue to have a dialog with my grandmother forever. I love you Nani!

Back to the canvas

Across the Bridge

I have taken some time off from painting and working - a few months or so during the summer. After my first year doing outdoor shows, I got so burnt! The second year will be easier since the guessing is taken out of the equation and we will know what we're doing. We = my husband and I. He has been kind and supportive in helping me with the shows - poor guy, it's not easy.


The Landscape
After some time off, I had a crazy urge to paint. When I painted I just let the process lead me and I didn't feel like painting anything specific. So I let the paint, paint itself...

I began splattering a ton of colors that called to me and sprayed them with water swishing them, moving the canvas and allowing them to flow where they want to flow. I thought it was so cool that without doing much, so much comes out! I was also reading the Tao Te Ching this summer - little bits of it. What I got from it is that life doesn't so much need our help but comes out perfect when we let things be. I thought of that as I allowed the paints to move and become something almost all on their own. Ofcourse I would dab and choose the colors being a co-creator but most of it was how they moved when the canvas would tilt. I love crystals and some looked like crystals and natural formations that you see in nature.

One of them in particular looked like angels to me - I called that one city of angels because so many of the images that developed came out to look like angels.

City of Angels

She Inspires Me

This is the balcony where my three and a half year old and I sit together while my younger one is napping. I sit across from her while she sketches and I read a book or write in my journal - not for long stretches of course because there are a lot of breaks to get water, pee, get more snacks, more toys...But one thing seems to be consistent with my little artist - the pencil or crayons are constantly in her hands while she sketches in her sketch book or any paper that she finds. I on the other hand have been avoiding a sketchbook and taking a 'break' from drawing and painting revisiting my books and writing. What I found amazing as I study this miraculous little being is how she draws for the pure love of it and there is no labeling, deciding, planning on her part - she is completely pure in her act of creating.

And then I remember when I was little and how much I enjoyed simply moving my hand on paper without any thoughts of selling the work or even completing it. There were no rules just total enjoyment of doing what naturally comes. With her sketchbook glued to her wherever she goes, my little one inspired me and reminded me what it was like to be a true artist without the label of any profession or planning and organizing of any business. Just the pure joy of creating... She is my little guru.


"The power of imagination makes us infinite"

John Muir

My Juice Fast and NY trip

I recently decided to do a juice fast to clean my system. I felt like my body wasn't clear and as much yoga as I did (which usually gives me that clear feeling) I felt like my inside needed to be cleaned out. It's hard to describe in words.

Anyhow, I have been researching it for a few months now looking into juicers that are silent (I have two sound sensitive girls at home!) and found one that I highly recommend to anyone. It's called the Breville Juice Fountain Plus - INCREDIBLE and really easy to use and clean. It's a silent as a juicer could be but not as loud as many that I have heard. It had the best reviews and can take a whole apple with no peeling since it is so strong and it separates the pulp and any hard components of the fruit or vegetable juiced. I'm sounding like an infomercial here but I always love to recommend things that have enhanced my life.

Anyhow, I did the juice fast for 6 days! I didn't expect to do it for that long but after the first few days it got easier so I thought why not. I dropped 5 pounds and have kept it off (three weeks later now) and even lost one or two more just by eating healthy. I'm not even that strict with myself though but I think I just cleared some toxins and got my body to declog and work better which I believe may have helped my metabolism.Another perk was energy and clear thinking which was one of the main goals for me. Energy and clear thinking can be desperately needed for any mom raising little ones. I began journaling and have been feeling a lot more alive and refreshed since.

I went to NY after and my husband surprised me by taking me to see 'Wicked'. One word - AMAZING! I'm usually known for getting edgy even at the best of shows after sitting for more than two hours but I didn't blink the whole time and could've gone the three hours with no intermission. It was a complete piece of art from the voices to the costumes to the brilliant story - I was almost in tears when the audience gave a standing ovation (myself included ofcourse).

So that is my personal news. I have been selling the winter show paintings that haven't sold to clear out space. I usually paint certain paintings for the art festivals that I do in the winter here in Florida and whatever doesn't sell later goes on ebay for cheaper to clear the way for new ones. Cleaning out - that's what it's been about for me~ Love the feeling of cleanliness and clarity...My paintings will be listed on ebay so keep an eye out for discounted prices. My ebay store link can be found on my website: http://www.mystical-artist.com/

"Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it."
-Ella Williams

Awake

This painting is my recent large piece that I will be showing in my upcoming shows in Miami Beach, Las Olas and Key Biscayne art festivals. I spoke with a few artists and collectors in the Boca Raton art festival and was inspired to try out a realistic face with earthy colors. I had the image of this type of cut-off of just one side of the face. I usually have the eyes closed in my women but have had the image of an eye open and a kaleidescope image in the eyes. I have always been intrigued by eyes in general and have seen eyes with those shapes before.
This painting came about as a result of events that got me out of my comfort zone so to speak. Even with painting this, I explored a new perspective and stretched my painting abilities to a new place that I usually don't venture. I also realized that I had more resistance than I thought and by becoming aware of it I was able to let it go. The awareness that came out of the experience is what got me to realize that I was in a slumber in my understanding of certain aspects of my life. I am still learning every day and by simply admitting to myself what 'is' I am able to wake up to more of my potential. I know that many of us can easily be sleep walking and not realize it in ourselves (it's much easier to see it in others). I want to live my life fully alive, fully awake and will do whatever it takes to achieve that - with a nice dose of patience of course...

"The unexamine life is not worth living"

-Socrates